As Sick As Our Secrets by Diane Ezzard

Author:Diane Ezzard [Ezzard, Diane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-12-10T06:00:00+00:00

Chapter 15

SOPHIE

I was getting too involved in things again but there was something in my nature that couldn’t help it. Call me inquisitive or just plain nosey, I found it hard not to meddle in other people’s business. At the moment, I had lots of unanswered questions. What was Charlie playing at? Did he like me? Did I have feelings for him? Did he kill Cassie? What was Jack doing at the Darcy home? Was Pauline Darcy hiding something? Then there was Trevor Darcy knowing Georgia. What was that about? No wonder I couldn’t sleep with all this going on in my head.

Then there was Jack. That was another thing entirely. As much as I tried to deny it to myself, really fancied him and was intrigued what his connection was to the Darcy’s.

Work had been in touch to see how I was. I let them know that I hoped to return at the end of my current sick note. I valued the time off. It allowed me to get a better perspective on my life. I knew now without any shadow of a doubt that I could no longer drink successfully. I enjoyed meeting up with Joyce to look at my behaviours and learn about the tools I needed to use to keep myself safe, away from alcohol. It wasn’t easy though.

I thought I had learnt everything about myself from my time in rehab and also from taking my counselling degree course. Now I was learning a new way of living that in some respects was quite alien to me. I started on my own counselling sessions. It seemed strange to be sat on the other side of the therapy room.

The meetings helped as well. When I talked about the resentments I had against my sister Steph, instead of people at the meeting supporting me and agreeing how awful she’d been with me, they told me to pray for her. They said if I couldn’t do that then to pray for the willingness to pray for her then keep praying for her every day until the resentment went. The funny thing was it worked. After a week of doing this, I realised she was no longer living rent-free in my head.

By concerning myself with other people’s lives, it stopped me looking at how bad mine was. I decided I was going to investigate Trevor Darcy. Realising it would be best left until the evening; I made up my mind to follow him on his nocturnal outings. It wasn’t good for my stress levels. Then someone told me a certain amount of stress was good for you, so I justified doing it. Of course, I didn’t tell Joyce what I was doing. There was honesty and a hundred percent honesty. At the moment I felt she wouldn’t approve of my actions.

I had been able to determine Trevor’s whereabouts for five nights a week. I drove up to the Con club and golf club each night and saw his car outside. His red Porsche was unmistakeable, so it wasn’t hard.

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